It all been about unraveling everything I thought I knew

The Spark

My understanding of my life’s work began when I was thirteen.

At the time, bowling was my whole world. I was gifted at it. Performing well came naturally to me. My parents, not so much.

One night after our Sunday league, my dad got really frustrated with himself. I tried to talk to him about mindset, encourage him, and offer a few ideas for next time.

I don’t remember exactly what he said in return, but I’ll never forget how it felt.

He didn’t believe he was capable. He didn’t believe he deserved to do better.

My whole world shattered.

Because I realized in that moment, he wasn’t just talking about bowling.

It was a metaphor for how he lived his life.

Him and my mom always taught me to dream big and believe in myself. But they didn’t believe in themselves.

They didn’t have the courage to live a life they truly loved.

And that night, I knew somehow, some way I would change the world.

Searching for truth

So I went searching.

I started meditating at eighteen.

I questioned everything I’d grown up with, especially the religion I was raised in.

I read every self-help book I could find.

I wanted to understand suffering. I wanted to understand purpose. I wanted to understand how to actually help people.

But at some point the fire went dim. I was no longer forging a unique path.

Despite all the searching, I didn’t feel any closer to becoming the version of me I was chasing.

I had the knowledge, but not the integration. I could see the vision, but I didn’t feel like I was living it.

Touching the edge

That started to shift when I was twenty-five.

Through my ex-wife and her friends, I was introduced to plant medicine.

I had a few profound experiences that seemed to open something in me. But even then, it didn’t quite land.

I would touch the real me especially at live music events, and then lose myself again the next day.

Integration still felt out of reach.

The moment of revelation

Then came Bonnaroo, June 2023.

I almost didn’t go.

The year before, I had a painful experience on my birthday that left me more broken than ever.

But Bonnaroo was my ex-wife’s favorite place in the world, and something in me knew: this trip would change everything.

On the third night, I wasn’t feeling like myself.

I sat down on our picnic blanket, closed my eyes, and tried to connect.

Just me, my breath, and the music.

And then I heard it.

“You are a transgender woman.”

It wasn’t a thought.

It was a knowing.

I tried to deny it,

I told myself it didn’t make sense.

But I couldn’t un-hear the truth.

Coming home to myself

That moment changed everything.

For the first time in my life, I understood why I never fit into the norm.

Why school felt suffocating. Why my career frustrated me. Why I suffered so deeply.

And why I was never going to help people by being someone else.

The answer had been with me all along: I just needed to be me.

Not a version of myself that ticked the boxes or looked good on paper. Not someone who had it all figured out.

Just me.

When I started living that truth and honoring my knowing everything began to shift.

I didn’t need to chase clarity anymore. The clarity lived inside of me.

And so I started building this business.

Not as a brand. Not as a performance. But as a living extension of who I really am.

It’s a business built on trust, intuition, and authentic expression.

A space where others can come home to themselves the same way I finally did.

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